Growing up is so weird. Nobody tells you how to do it. There is a lot of talk around what you are supposed to do. The things you are supposed to accomplish and the milestones you are supposed to achieve. These are celebrated and discussed at family dinners and in Christmas newsletters. But I think that the real important parts of growing up are much quieter. They happen in journals and coffee shops and dinner parties. "They" being reflections upon days gone past. The simultaneously most joyous and devastating part of getting older is understanding the distance between who you are now and who you used to be. Whether this realization comes in the form of personal reflection, conversations with friends, or that moment at the party where you realize you don't like being awake past midnight anymore, it seems to become all consuming. 

When someone announces to you that they are in the process of  finding themselves, this is something that is significant, and should be listened to. Not because of their impending journey involving yoga, non-alcoholic cocktails, and inspirational quotes from Facebook- but because what they are really saying is: hello, I think I am lost, and I would like to not be anymore. It is curious to me how when people attempt to find themselves, they tend to look in places that they have never been before- they try new things, see new movies, read new books, and attempt to place energy into new places. Of course, this is not always the case, but it seems relevant enough to mention. 

This last summer was the first summer that I've spent away from my parent's house in Colorado. During that time, I had a lot of conversations with myself and with those that I love about identity. Here was my conclusion: (please note, for future readers, this conclusion is heavily tied to my life as it is now, senior year of college at Black Hills State University, summer of 2024-spring of 2025.)

I am an amalgamation of memory. I am who I am now because of who I have been. This body of work, entitled Enmeshed, a word adjacent to caught or entangled, explores my understanding of growth and identity, as I know it now. Each piece includes an image representing a memory from my past, taken from a separate, ongoing, photography project in which I collect moments of peace, and a image from a more current memory, which is closely related to its pair. The pieces aim to represent how my interpretation of current experience are entangled with and defined by my past- which ultimately create the identity that I hold for myself. 

I am finding my current self through every version of my past self. Enmeshed aims to paint a picture of memory, growth, and self reflection. 

I hope you enjoy my exploration and are perhaps motivated to embark on one of your own.